Here I am, 7 months before quitting my job to travel the world… How am I feeling? Read on..
They say you need to think positive thoughts, and envision your life the way you want it. And believe me when I say, every single thought that crosses through my mind on a daily basis has to do with me traveling.
It is in every dream that I have when I lay my head down at night, it is in every daydream I have throughout the day. It surrounds me.
I am about to get really personal with you folks in this post… Afterall, you did click to read my diaries of an almost Nomad.
My Confession Diaries
I’ll tell you what, it is so hard going to work day after day knowing that your heart and head is elsewhere. It makes it hard to focus on the task at hand.
My company is aware of my plans to escape at the end of the year. They’re also very excited for me and support me to the fullest!
That being said; I f*cked up.
I let my emotions and daydreams get the best of me and I basically quit doing what I come to work every day to do.
Okay, I’m just gonna spit it out.. I was written up for not doing my job.
I literally made such a large screw up that my general manager and regional manager had to sit down with me.. Talk about the most embarrassing thing to ever happen!
This was probably the most difficult conversation to sit through without bursting into tears. They proceeded to tell me that they understand my excitement, and that they hope that this time next year I am somewhere out in the world traveling. However what I was doing, or the lack thereof, was unacceptable and that if I wanted to stay employed until the end of the year, I need to make some serious changes.
Hardest thing in the world for me to hear… But it was what I needed to hear! I am a damn hard worker, and when I put my mind to something, I put my all into it.
Well, that has been my downfall. I let myself get so wrapped up in the success of my future life, that I let myself go completely.
That is not me.. Not at all!
It has now been a month since my write up and I am really struggling with staying focused, but I am forcing myself to remember that this is how I make my living NOW, and if I wanted to keep making a living until the end of the year, I need to snap the hell out of the daydreams I was letting myself get caught up in.
My Fear Diaries
What happens if December comes and I am not ready? If I haven’t saved enough money to get to where I am going? What happens if I am not making any money from the blog and can’t find a job abroad? What if I told everyone my plans and then failed?
That makes me a loser, and a wannabe nomad. Right?
These are are thoughts that go through my head on a daily basis.
I am a researcher! I may not like making plans but you bet your ass I will know the options available and the cost, time, and ratings.
Bottom line, is that enough? Will I have had researched and prepared enough to make this happen?
My fear of failure is one of the largest obstacles that I am dealing with but I also think it, like my write up, is needed to make me work harder than ever to make my dreams into reality.
My Anxiousness Diaries
You read it up top, traveling is all I think about.
Everything about this makes me anxious (never mind that I have an anxiety disorder lol). The waiting, the fear, the excitement, the highs and lows of the blogging.
You name it.
Like, waking up from just having dreamt of backpacking around Southeast Asia.. and now having to go to work.
I am just anxious to get out there and not just daydream about it all day, every day.
My Peer Diaries
Talking with others about my plans is always an adventure.
I care way too much about what others think, so telling someone who doesn’t understand my plans, is a struggle for me.
The first thing people say; be careful… As if to say everywhere other than the USA, bad things will happen to you. That just drives me crazy!
There are good and bad places anywhere you visit, and I feel as though, as long as you use your common sense and intuition, do your research, don’t spend time in sketchy areas and are always aware of what is going on around you, you will be just fine. Constantly hearing about how I will get kidnapped or raped is the most negative thing and does not encourage me in any way.
I am aware of the risks and I am not that naive, but I appreciate your concern. I know it comes from a good place.
The best things happen when you step outside your comfort zone
Another thing I am often asked is how I am going to pay to do this for a living. I don’t mind the question, I actually love explaining what I am doing and how. It is the way it is asked. As if they don’t believe it can be done. I say, follow my blog and find out how my journey unfolds! I am excited to share this with you.
My Reflection Diaries
Starting this blog has helped me become more aware of what it means to be grateful, and what it takes to achieve success. There are so many distractions in life – some are wonderful life moments that provide enrichment, others take you away from the path and cause you to lose focus.
I used to go out every weekend and party it up. Afterward, I would spend the next two weeks trying to figure out how I was going to pay my bills and still have enough to live. This is an example of a distraction taking me away from my goals. Yikes!
Since starting this blog I have been more focused on my long term goals. That means saving money and staying home instead of partying. All my time and energy is spent on ways to make this dream a reality! I am determined.
Full disclosure, it has been hard!
There is the waiting, and I am not the patient type! All the research and learning, the writing, the bailing on plans to dedicate more time to the goal, the late nights spent promoting, the wishing away this year in anticipation of the next, and the fear of failure…OH, and Robyn, my beautiful pitbull, constantly pulling me away for play time (this is definitely a distraction that provides enrichment in my life!)!
Ok…there is all of that, but honestly, even in the midst of all that – this has been the best experience!
2020 will be a year of adventure and exploration.
If you too are planning for a life of no plans, starting a new blog, or are currently traveling, I would love to hear your personal struggles, goals and progress! Please take a few moments to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Thank you for allowing me to share my diaries of struggles, barriers and fears as I plan for a life of no plans and as always, don’t ever stop #ChasingDaydreams